Remember me? It's Alyssa, aka glarb aka glarbinator


So I was an active MGSF member from 2004-2009ish after getting obsessed with Snake Eater. I first joined 17 years ago when I was 12, and I just turned 30 a week ago. I don’t play video games much nowadays–I built a beastly gaming PC thinking I would get back into gaming and play Cyberpunk 2077 once in a while but tbh I use most of the processing power just to edit photos and videos.

Since I left MGSF I went to college, lived in the woods for 6 months straight with no phone or internet and became a trail worker for a few years. Got my degree in kinesiology in 2018 and haven’t used it because IDGAF about the fitness industry anymore lol. Currently I work as a native habitat restoration technician at an environmental non-profit and I love it. I get paid to plant stuff, take out weeds and watch birds and it’s pretty dope!

2020 - 2021 has been fucking insane though. Almost exactly a year ago today I was super stoned in the shower and decided to do a breast self-check for the first time ever and I found a lump. Got it checked out and I was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer last summer. My shitty ex-boyfriend that I dated for 3 years peaced out because he can’t handle real life and bailed as soon as things weren’t fun anymore, right after I was diagnosed. It’s incredibly rare to get this kind of cancer at this age but lucky me! The average life expectancy is 3 years but I hope to live much longer than that. I just finished chemo and have surgery in 2 weeks, then a month of radiation in 6 weeks.

Treatment has fucking sucked, not gonna lie, but I’ve been feeling a bit better over the last month and had an awesome time celebrating my birthday with my best friend who was born 3 days after me. I went snowboarding and skydiving for the second time. <3

I’m bald af rn but I got a wig made out of my hair and can still look like my pre-cancer self if I put in the time haha

Anyway hello!


Skydiving a week ago


Snowboarding 2 weeks ago


i remember seeing your name around way back. but man im sorry youve had to go thru all of that. respect for still kicking lifes ass


Hey glarb, good to see you. Not so good to see what you’ve been through. Cancer sucks and I wish you nothing but the best in your treatments and surgeries.


Hey, welcome! Glad you’re doing well given the circumstances. Hoping all your treatments go well.


Lmao same tbh.

Holy shit this is really cool! Something along the lines of what I’ve always wanted to try out. Did you enjoy it?

This is pretty much the goal, right? I’ve got into gardening a tonne since about 2 years ago when I wanted to find a relaxing outlet and it honestly couldn’t have been a better choice. I’m currently growing a couple of pepper plants and recently bought my first ever bonsai.

Sound like you’re taking this all incredibly well, so kudos to you. My girlfriend’s mum was diagnosed with Stage II or III Breast cancer (can’t quite remember) and after nearly two years now, she’s about to go off her chemo tablets and in for a final surgery, at which point her immune system should stabilise and people will be able to visit her again. It’s been absolutely insane to see the journey she took and really sorry you’ve had to do the same. But! Breast cancer is incredibly well researched and we beat the average life expectancy all the time. Finding out that people who had a brain tumour have a life expectancy of 5 years following was hard at first for me, but finding out that it’s brought down a TONNE because of things like operating deaths, car accidents or (unfortunately) suicide etc. really helped me realise that it’s just an “average” in the most lenient form.

Either way! Welcome to MGL and I hope you enjoy it man!


I DO remember you, welcome back Alyssa! I was Bosa back then.
That’s one helluva intro, loving it. Not loving the cancer part… :disappointed: Hope they can keep that fucker away!

Enjoy the new forums!


This is it, this is all that matters. Quality time with people you love, doing what you love. Everything else is inconsequential. But god damn, wish I had the balls to sky dive. That must have been incredible! I remember you from back in the day, though I’m not sure how much we interacted. This is Kalash.

Welcome to Metal Gear Legacy!

I really, really appreciate you taking the time to join up. I’ll be sending good energy your way, hope all of your treatments go smoothly!

Oh word? That’s whats up. What made you go into that?


Welcome Glarb, I was around I think only a little while before you became inactive. Sounds like you’ve really had things rough but wow have you taken things on the chin and fought against it, doesn’t need to be said but really hope your treatment goes well and you keep it away. Looks like you had a fun birthday though, I’d love to do stuff like skydiving sometime.


Glarb! Welcome to MGL. I think you were around mgsf briefly when I first joined.

Sounds like you’ve been through the wringer, but it also sounds like you’re kicking ass!


Hey glarb/Alyssa, I’m happy to see you here! if you don’t know this is sadistic_greyfox. You’ve been dealt quite a hand but you’re gonna muscle through it, hell even bulldoze it so dont even stress it! That shitty ex will get his in the end whether you want him too or not, life finds a way to make things like that right. Sounds like you have an amazing job though, I love the sound of it. I bet it’s a great place to be high as well lol :stuck_out_tongue: . How was skydiving? Idk if i’ll ever have the balls to pull that off!

Keep us updated and stick around!


where were you a trail worker?

That’s awesome you’re a badass hope things can calm down a bit for you

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I dunno how many of you will see this since I’m not entirely sure how the message board works yet lol but thank you all so much for the warm welcome!

Sorry for being MIA–I had surgery a few weeks ago, which went well, but had a few complications. I got sent home 4 days after my surgery but then got a fever and had to go straight back to the hospital that same night with sepsis lol. I had some infected fluid in my abdomen so they stuck a tube in between my ribs to drain it. Unfortunately the pain meds didn’t work well so I felt almost everything during the procedure and it fucking suuuuucked. I couldn’t help but start crying but still had to stay as still as possible while they finished the procedure. Then all the pain meds hit me all at once well after the procedure and the walls looked like they were fucking melting and I got hit was a ton of nausea. Everything on the walls looked like it was sliding down continually without ever hitting the bottom. It was pretty traumatic tbh :sweat_smile:

I could go on and on–So much shit happened lol I mean I just got back from the ER again this morning because they thought I might have an infection again! But everything is chill and they ruled out the infection. Bottom line is I’m feeling a lot better and my surgeons (yep I had two separate operations back to back) were able to remove both of my tumors completely! I still have radiation and a lifetime of long term cancer meds left but I’m glad the tumors are out! Once we scan my brain and make sure there’s no tumors up there, I’m officially free of any detectable cancer. Hopefully my meds keep any remaining incognito cancer cells at bay for a looong long time!

Thanks again for the warm welcome y’all!


Hey man, I’m really glad your girlfriend’s mom is doing well! :heart: Sorry for the late reply–you can check out my update post in this thread if you’re interested lol.

Yeah breast cancer is really well researched and I’m trying to hold out as long as I can so I’ll be around for all the new treatments that are rolling out year after year!

Re: trail work–it’s fucking AWESOME and I would highly recommend it! You learn a lot about yourself pretty quickly. I figured out that I can adapt to situations better than I would have expected. Went through lots of demanding situations where you either have to adapt or get fucked up lol

Glad you’re enjoying gardening too! It’s hippie shit but I really do think we’re all losing sight of how much nature is intertwined with our humanity. We were born to live outside and there’s legit research showing maldaptive changes in people that aren’t exposed to green spaces/wildlife

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Hio! I did trail work in Northern California (trinity alps wilderness), southern California (Laguna Coast Wilderness, Silverwood State Recreation Area), and the Colorado rockies (Mt Columbia, on the way up at 12k feet)

Really intense work and I have some back and knee problems because of it but man it was worth it! :heart:

And thanks, I appreciate that! :heart:

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Darn that sounds like it was quite the ride, i do hope now all the worse is over and you can just focus on getting bettter. you plan on returning to work or just gonna chill out a bit?

Good to see you again Alyssa, we spoke on Reddit a while ago so I’m glad you found your way here!

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